The Courage to Dance

I have two questions for you:

1. Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to do something, but didn’t have the courage? 
2. Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to do something, you didn’t have the courage, but you did it anyways?

I’m sure you have, I know I have! Tonight I was in one of those situations. I went to a worship night with a wonderful, spirit-filled, woman of God and her beautiful 4 year old daughter. At Liberty University, where I go to school, I have the wonderful opportunity of worshiping with a body of believers in my age group at least 3 times a week. I love being home, but if I miss one thing about school it is definitely the worship times, where we can drop whatever we are doing and come into God’s presence to do what we were actually made to do! I was excited to be going to this worship night, and open to what God wanted to show me. 

At this worship service there were beautiful dancers who worshiped God on stage. The little girl that I went with began to sway with the music, but there wasn’t enough room in the row of chairs to release the flow of adoration that she felt for Jesus. I whispered in her ear if she would like to go to the back of the sanctuary to dance, at first she said no. But when the dancers re-appeared on stage she pulled on my arm and asked if we could dance. I took her hand and walked her to the back, where I was going to let HER dance. Before we even got to the back this precious child was spinning and whirling around. As I watched this 4 year old close her eyes as she danced to worship Jesus my heart was convicted, I was just standing there! This little girl was totally abandoned to Jesus and how the Holy Spirit was moving her to worship him. I couldn’t stand it any longer and decided to join in the praise. I grabbed her hands and before we knew it we were twirling, whirling, and worshiping together. I would pick her up and we would spin and spin to the choruses of the songs. At the more upbeat songs we would jump and clap and shout praises with delight! We would bow to the ground, and then get back up again to lift our hands to our creator, who is worthy of our dances. 

It was interesting to get the congregations reactions to our dancing. Some would walk by quickly if they wanted to get by, some would give me weird looks as if they didn’t understand why on earth I would be dancing in my bare feet with a four year old. But others would turn and smile with joy (whispering to their friends besides them to get a peek). I think that secretly many of them wished that they too could join in the circle of praise. I learned a lot tonight about worship, from a 4 year old! And although she did not know any of the words to the songs, she sure knew how to worship. 

This was my “I’m in a situation where I want to do something. I don’t really have the courage, but I’m going to do it anyways” situation. And I am so glad that I did. I can’t wait to do that when I can see Jesus face to face. 

Now don’t get me wrong ... I don’t think that the next time I’m at a church service that I will quickly run to the back, kick off my shoes, and throw my concerns for what others think about me out of the window ... but I wish that I could say: “that is exactly what I am going to do!” 

What if I did? Or better yet, what if you did? 

Truth in a Jar

One of my weaknesses is disappointment. I seem to get disappointed easily, my dad told me that sometimes it’s because I have high expectations for people, things and situations, and I have to agree with him. We all have areas of our life that need work though, and this is one of mine. 

I recently had a conversation with my dad. I was “disappointed” because I had been sharing something really important with someone and I felt like they weren’t listening at all to me. It didn’t necessarily hurt my feelings, but I wanted the person to receive what I had to say because it was really important and I knew that the individual I was talking too needed to hear this certain truth. My dad then explained that the Holy Spirit can still use my spoken truths. The Holy Spirit is not dependent on whether or not this individual received my words or not. My dad said that the Holy Spirit can use them when the person is ready to receive the truth. That put my heart at ease, knowing that my words and the heart behind them were not wasted. I did my part. 

That night I got a beautiful vision; my dad’s words put into a majestical picture. Because of that vision I am now convinced that if I speak a truth that is not received, the words do not simply float in space void and useless, the Holy Spirit catches my words and makes each one a fire-fly. He places them in a jar and waits for the perfect moment to take off the lid and to fill up the night sky with truth, vanishing all darkness. All I have to do is speak truth and leave the rest up to the Holy Spirit. 

Never fail to speak truth, and never try to the job of the Holy Spirit. Only he knows the perfect time to open up the lid of your truth jar. 

God and 1:14am

This may not be the case for you...but God seems to like to talk to me at early morning hours, when I want to be sleeping! I tend to shut him out at those hours, trying to get some sleep...but maybe I should start listening more. I learn a lot when I do! I was thinking about purity tonight, and the symbol that came to mind was a pearl. I decided to look up how a pearl is actually made (after I came to the realization that I didn’t actually know!) and what I found out was very interesting (and what God showed me was very interesting too!) The pearl making process first begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster, between the mantle and the shell. This foreign substance begins to irritate the mantle, like something stuck in your tooth. Come to found out, the oysters natural reaction is to cover up the irritant to protect itself. So a pearl is a foreign substance covered with layers and layers produced by the oyster. 

When I read that, this is what I thought of. So many times we let things into our lives that we shouldn’t. We know “they” shouldn’t be there, but our natural reaction is to cover it up, and hide it. We cover up, and cover up more and more until we get buried in our own mistake. We haven’t really gotten rid of the mistake, we just covered it up, just like Adam and Eve in the garden (“I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” Genesis 3:10) It is a hard and depressing process, and a lot of work! BUT, that encouraging verse that we all cling to always encourages me: “You planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good” (Genesis 50:20). If God can make a beautiful pearl out of an “irritant,” and even make a beautiful butterfly out of a caterpillar, then he can certainly make a beautiful life out of hurt, pain, or a deep struggle. Trust him, he is good :) Don’t hide from him, and he will make you beautiful inside and out. 

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”   Psalm 51:17

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”  Ecclesiastes 3:11

the start of something new

I have really wanted to do a blog for a long time.. And I’m not sure why I never did before! I have been learning so much about a lot of different things lately and I have been writing everything down in my prayer journal. If God is everything for us then part of "Him" is our Teacher. And just like any teacher, God loves to see and hear the progress that we make on the lessons that he teaches us, thats why I love to respond to his lessons by writing to him what I learned.

I was reading a book this past semester that I love, it was my second time reading it and I learned so much this second time around. But one idea that stuck with me was an idea about a characteristic of God. Since God is an omniscient God, he knows everything. Many people would argue that because he “knows it all” we don’t need to pray to him, or talk to him. But what struck me in the book was how God can relate to us. Although he IS an omniscient God, when we come to talk to him he can have limited omnisciency. This means that when we come to him with our thoughts and prayers it is like he is hearing it for the FIRST TIME. Although God is a powerful God, he doesn’t force his power on us, and I think it goes the same for the omnisciency part. God wants to relate to us, because it is so hard for us as humans to relate to an almighty and powerful God, he is powerful enough to come down to “our level” therefor “limiting” himself in a way that we can relate to. (As I am writing this I am finding out that it is hard to put this all in words! I hope I am writing it in a way that is easy to grasp.) But anyways, what I am really trying to say is that God loves to hear our stories, as if it is the first time he is hearing it. A quote that I just recently read on my friends blog sums it up perfectly, and it goes like this: “God made man because he loves stories.” (Elie Wiesel). 

When I write in my prayer journal all of my hearts cries and joys, I believe that God loves it! He desires for me to commune with him, and writing to him is one of my favorite ways. And when I write down a story, or a great day I had, or a request, my mindset is that I am coming to my heavenly Father who WANTS to hear my voice, even if it is on paper, and he isn’t bored with me. 

Just because I started this blog, doesn’t mean I will stop my prayer journal with God at all. But I think God wants me to share some of the things he teaches me with others too! A lot of people have been telling me lately how blessed and encouraged they are with my Facebook statuses, and usually those come from my prayer journal! I want to share more of my thoughts, and a blog is a perfect way :) I hope my blog blesses whoever takes the time to read it. And if it is just God who reads them, then that is enough for me.